Thanksgiving Thoughts

My brain and heart were mush over Thanksgiving break.  Lots of contemplation over how to love-well a person so completely different than me. Bound and determined to shower her with love, every effort fell short. Attempts to stay calm and reflect a lighter way to live turned grim. Speaking softly does not always equal speaking with compassion…in the end, my soft words still carried a steely tone.  Stuff I’m not proud of.

Do we truly have such varied definitions of peace and love? Are we really that different? Don’t we both ultimately want the greater good for our loved ones and ourselves? 

Over much contemplation and confirmation from dear ones, there’s slim to zero chance in me personally changing her definitions or perspectives…the baggage there simply too thick for me to navigate.  All I can control is myself and I was failing miserably on that front as well. In a grand revelation, perhaps the lesson to learn isn’t in changing her perspective, but instead, how to stay calm in the storm. No one can steal my joy.  No one can dictate my happiness.  But I surely handed it over on a nice shiny tray each day…allowing my happy to be dissected and discarded in tiny bite size pieces.  There's still some training required to preserve my happy...a work in progress.

Perhaps one day a grand revelation will fall upon her as well.  Til then, I will continue to send love and live the kind of life that reflects love, peace, joy, kindness, compassion, and wisdom.