I was a high school mean girl.
To the
majority, I was kind, innocent, joyful. But two girls received the
brunt of my jealous wrath. Encouraging my entire table of senior
girls to turn and glare at a stunning underclassman with a modeling
career during our entire lunch period. My smiling face dissolved
whenever she passed in the hallway. Another girl, transplanted into
a small-country town of big trucks and cow-tipping, was mocked
because of her fashion forward hair style. I suppose my pecking
order felt threatened...or it was just easier to mock than to confess
my own weakness. So much more difficult to authentically connect
with others, understand who they are and why, appreciating their
differences, and not feel internally threatened. Shameful it took 43
years to source and secure my identity. Unsure what advice to give
my dear friend...this sort of bullying has endured since cave-woman
days and will likely continue til end-o-times. Sad that it often
doesn't end in high school.
To the harassed, this former mean girl
apologizes for the current tribe. Forgive them for they know not
what they do. Keep being your unique self regardless of the murmur it
creates.
To the mean girls, grow secure in your
self...there will always be a prettier, smarter girl. Find your self
and you won't need to degrade it in others. The enlightening thing
I've discovered in my years since being a mean girl is that every
single one of us is uniquely broken on the inside. The most
beautiful girl feels ugly. The smartest girl often has no idea how
to interact with others. We're all struggling to be heard, to feel
important, to find solid ground.
To the beautiful girls I harassed...I'm
deeply sorry. My mean girl card now archived, but still I feel much
regret for what I've done.
