Gatherings of Women

Having very different gatherings of women surround me this weekend, typical worries of what to wear settled into old familiar and comfortable clothing. No fidgeting, no worries, one last gaze of approval from my fashion guru teenager then I was off.  Anticipation mounting, butterflies begin to stir as I approached the entrance, but quickly dissolved among familiar faces. Speed round catch up, then settling with a select few I’m most curious about. Thrilled at their accomplishments, their accolades, their families, the passion they’ve discovered, some bound to make major changes in this world, others amidst major stress, struggling to find solid ground.  Savoring their words, lost years dissolved.  Too quickly, our time ended and I realized the importance of not trying so hard…there was never a need to impress, instead, a great need to listen, to Be.  Nothing to gain from my long separated friends, just a simple appreciation for the women they’ve become. 

The long contemplative ride home led me to gathering number two.  Still abuzz with admiration, I primped and headed off.  A smaller group, more intimate, local peeps. All in costume, but seeing beyond to their heart, similar worries over children, insecurities, unsure futures.  More listening, more Be-ing. Realizing a personal lack of striving...a confidence in self that isn’t based on who I associate with, not focused on being friend to all…instead, intent on adding value to all. One, however, seeming so confident yet purposely avoiding my gaze.  Scrolling thru your phone when I approach, I see you. A difficult nut to crack, battles unaware, sending love instead.  Love that settles into her bones and changes the way she sees the world, love that dissolves judgment, comparison, fear, negativity…endless amounts of falsely protective walls. I don’t need to be your friend, your bestie…but I can appreciate you and expect good things for you.

Head hit the pillow hard that evening… thoughts, conversations spinning.

Grateful. Uplifted by lifting up others…Satisfied.