Wednesday, February 21, 2018

13 Years of Bruises





For 13 years, our bed has sat in the exact same spot.  In a wide loop from bedroom door to bathroom, my shin will inevitably hit the edge of the platform frame once a week.  Why only now have I decided to move the bed? So long it has occupied that spot, I’ve memorized the wide loop in a number of 5 quick steps. My fingers trace the edge in the dark to avoid the thump. It makes absolutely no sense to keep it in that spot, but there it sits, four deep wells of comfortable dips in the carpet and 13 years of shin bruises. Comfort and familiarity shouldn’t be the only reason to avoid change.  So this weekend, Tim will begrudgingly oblige as we shuffle the bed to an alternate wall.  In a chain of events, every other piece of furniture will find new dips on the carpet.


Pulling Cole from the standard routine of high school education is the glaring culprit to this fresh awareness of routine rut. With new eyes on all actions and placements, what else is wasteful, inefficient, pointless?  Constantly looking for a new and alternative way to accomplish the same tired task, smarter ways to do things are waiting to be discovered. Small things, like moving a lamp to a spot where I frequently read, switching stacks of dishes to a smarter cabinet.  What bigger things need adjustment? 

Baby steps…starting with the bed and a future free of shin bruises.    

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Six Months




I’ve got Six short months.


Just yesterday we had that long distance comfort between birth and college.  Now it’s a mere Six months away.  Six months of action, memories, sweet words, learning, wisdom.  She came into this world like a calm 20 year old…like she’s always meant to be here, bound to make great change, wiser than this world.  She’ll manage all matter of big and tiny details just perfectly on her own…the best kind of learning often is hands on.  My main focus has always been to make sure she’s comfortable in her own skin.  That she knows who and whose she is.  That she carries a confidence that is unshaken by this untethered world, a lesson that never ends.


I’ve been failing on my job recently…a bit distracted, wastefully busy.  All good intentions, but the priority is misaligned.  She should have always been closer to the top…but she quietly takes care so well, I took her for granted.  Not wanting to workout with her because I’m a morning gal…selfish.  Headphones in and YouTube stares…isolated.  Reclining after dinner…unhealthy.  For a mere six months, she still needs me. Headphones are being tucked away, screens are being limited, feet and minds are moving.   Six months of filling her confidence bucket to overflowing.  Six months of endless love and listening.  I’ve got Six months.