The Next Terrible Thing

The past few weeks have brought equal amounts of joy and pain. It seems the more good I accomplish in the world, the more no-good-awful-terrible things tend to happen.  One marvelous thing followed by five terrible things made for a very discouraged soul creating very lethargic mornings…easier to stay under the covers than face the next terrible thing.

But what if the blessing is right behind the bad? What if I miss it? I swing one leg out of the bed, then the other. One step then another, peering around corners expecting the next terrible thing. Not normal behavior for an optimist, a bona-fide sparkle girl. Never before have I experienced such a long series of yuck, but never before have I been more transparent.  Never before have I been so absolutely visible.  Typically in a little bubble, hidden from most of the world, now I am consistently making myself seen, pushing out happiness and love onto anyone that will listen. Clearly, I’m onto something good, something important. It would be so much easier to stay under the covers, but instead, I keep moving forward, keep pushing love out into the world…onto my family, my friends, my customers. Today begins a new week…one with new blessings, new trials…bring it. 

Still a Work in Progress

The most basic of emotions reared their ugly heads this weekend reminding me that I’m still a work in progress.  On Friday, enroute to treat myself to a long overdue pedicure, I found myself stuck in local traffic while a slow motion accident happened three cars away.  Thinking myself safe, I exhaled then watched the car careen into car one, two, then colliding head-on into me, me, borrowing my daughter’s newly purchased, fully paid for, much loved Ford Explorer. Instead of ninja-like reflexes of patience, peace, prayer, I reverted directly into the foulest of sailor mouth.  Yep.  Swears worthy of the darkest biker bar came billowing out of my belly.  So much for ‘slow to anger’. 

Disappointed, yet thinking myself in the clear, back to sweet and peaceful, Lisa, the beast reared it’s head yet again the following day.  ‘Twas a beautiful Saturday, and we were enjoying a vendor event at a local festival.  Set up at the main entrance, a minivan sped by running over our display, a short distance from children and shopping moms.  Hulk emerged….hands up to the sky, furrowed brow, jerky words. Moms sheltering ears of their children…likely not, but perhaps…it all went black, I don’t even remember what words spilled. Disbelief, concern for my customers, shock. Anger.

I run to secure my happy meds, drink shakes for my health, read books for my wisdom, but what to do about the Hulk? I suppose we all need a small dose of him in proper circumstances, heck, even Jesus tipped tables. The key is knowing when to use him and when to hand him the hall pass.  My prayer…Lord, make me a Hulk only when I need it. Til then, wrap me up in a big comfy blanket of peace.  In Hulk and In Peace, when people see me, let them see you. Thanks that I’m still a work in progress. Amen.