Nice and Cute

Those that don't know me will immediately read this as a boast post...know me better.

Coined 'nice' and 'cute' my entire life, I've been quite content to float along on those accolades. There's certainly nothing terrible about being 'nice' and 'cute'....But, this past year I've felt that more is required. Those two adjectives simply no longer satisfy. Often content to let others do the digging, consider the decisions, make a difference. Letting hours go without telling my children I love them because I'm making dinner or mindlessly busying myself. Speaking vanilla words of the weather when there's so much more to unearth. After church recently, I drifted right by a woman sitting alone, looking so very sad, drained. That still, small voice encouraged me to speak, share that million dollar smile. I didn't. Worried I'd delay the family, I continued on my path. Deciding instead, I had no time to check on her. It affected me all day long. Still does.

Walking around with such power potential, but motoring in neutral. Skating along, giving only a fraction of my full jets in every aspect of my life. Power to change lives, to speak truth, to simply share a smile, but choosing often to lay low and play it safe instead. What a terrible and overwhelming waste. Often considering what others would say at my funeral, I can imagine 'cute' and 'nice' scattered often. What I desire instead is 'life-changing', 'inspiring', 'her smile could brighten the room', 'she gave all', 'she made me feel worthy, beautiful'.

Confident there is grand potential to do such extraordinary things...tapping into that power on a daily basis is the tricky part....one that requires great renewal of the mind. So often I hear my own belittling mind chatter 'you aren't good enough', 'you aren't smart enough'...releasing is difficult. Craving chatter that is empowering and guiding over the stifling and restraining. Quieting that inner monster takes great strength. So I pray. Pray for strength, insight, wisdom. Pray for powerful words to sink soul deep for the changing of lives. Pray for sweet connections.

A year-long change has occurred...a shifting into overdrive. No longer settling into 'nice' and cute', but instead, harnessing them for greater good. Sharing a smile, attentively attuned to moments of encouragement, asking hard questions...for my family, for others. No longer satisfied to rest. No longer passing the sad woman on the bench. The creating of a happier world, first starting from within, then expanding to my family, my community. I can no longer sit idle hiding my light under a basket. So that at the end of my days, I'll hear 'well done...you used what I gave and multiplied. You never hid it from the world, instead you shared and inspired others to do the same'. Well done.