Thursday, July 11, 2019

The Stillness I Seek



Yesterday, comfy in bed, pillow warm, blankets cozy, dog still nestled and asleep, well before the hours I typically awake, I sleepily counted down from 5 for a burst out of bed.  Any longer would have allowed for argument…it’s too early, don’t wake the dog,  the writing can wait.  The arguments come quickly…the doubt-inducing, inspiration-spiraling statements that keep me from doing the thing…whatever that thing is that would move me forward, that would make me a better person, that would possibly catapult my life. I would be quite content to stay on the comfy level I currently reside, but nothing good comes to those who linger too long in comfy places.  So I catapulted myself out of bed after a quick 5 second countdown and after the dog was satisfied, I sat and began to type.  And words did flow.

Nothing good comes to those who linger too long in comfy places. 

Years ago, in a cabin sitting on Thousand Islands, I rose early to enjoy a peaceful morning.  Just beyond the dock, the water appeared glass-like.  Not a single ripple remained from the busy night before.  As if the fish beneath were still asleep, boats had yet to disturb the surface, the water sat still.  I had the urge to swipe the surface to capture its serenity, but its peace would be disturbed.  So I sat on the dock and appreciated it instead.  Gazing with gratitude how in the single digit hours, portions of the world seemed so completely still.  But even in the appearance of stillness, the tide still pulls and unseen things move right beneath the surface.

My mind works best in the wee hours… before the sun has risen, while only the early birds chirp, while my mind is not yet polluted with to-dos, before the flurry of the house begins to stir.  I crave and seek out the stillness.  My mind,  creates new things, words do flow, inspiration blooms. Then, once the house begins to stir, and the to-do list beckons, the surface begins to ripple.    Til tomorrow, it’s the stillness I seek.

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