Bravely Step Forward

Today, I spoke words to a camera as part of a recording meant to encourage and uplift women at an upcoming retreat.  Immediately honored, the words easily spilled days in advance.  However, the day I need it most, my computer seizes.  Unable to print my speech, I head to church to meet the videographer…my inner critic loudly proclaiming that I’m no speaker, clearly no writer, completely unworthy, not to mention unorganized.  Squashing it and moving forward, deciding my written speech is not participating, my bullet notes will have to do…but when I glance at my notes, instant blur, nothing made sense.   Test anxiety pummeled me, my mind drew complete blanks. My heart pulsed through my ears. As she continued to set up the camera, I nervously babbled and alternated deep breaths.  Pulling her in the loop, I admit my nervous thoughts and press forward with winging it.  Camera poised, microphone balanced, lighting flattering, bullet notes visible...she pressed record and I exhale.  The deep desire of my heart is helping ladies feel beautiful so I pictured them on the other side of the aperture…right there, inches away.  All nervousness melted and the words spilled easily.  Roughly following the bullet notes retained my focus, but new concepts dropped in, too.  One word flowed into another, sharing lessons, tips and some heart to heart. 

At final words, air kisses sent, I hopped from my perch and signed off.  Worry gone, inner critic quiet, peace reigned. Honored to play one small part in encouraging women towards their best self, I was thankful that the words flowed and that the inner critic was squashed.  For me, it was an affirmation of continuing to bravely step forward regardless of fear.