Update 3

The guests have gone, family members are elsewhere, I’ve dimmed the lights and I watch her sleep.  One breath in, another breath out.  We’re still good.  I am amazed by her strength.  Doctors often ask if she wants any pain medicine and she politely declines.   She has befriended every single nurse (and offered them a puppy - my sister’s dog had a whopping 10 puppies the same day we started this ordeal).  She cracks me up…last night, after eating cookie cake with bright blue teeth-staining icing, I asked her if she’d like to brush her teeth before sleeping.  She shook her head and tightened her lips…..screw it.  She no longer has to worry about cavities!  I could fill up a page with tales I’ve experienced with her these past three days. Moments of laughter, moments of tears, moments that simply warm my soul.  What an amazing and overwhelming experience I’ve been blessed with.  I get to comfort and usher one of the greatest women alive out of this world.  

Earlier today, she had to make the hard decision on where she’d like to die….at home or at the hospital. I was so relieved to hear her choose hospital. Although home represents comfort, it also reminds her of numerous chores undone and sadly, I know we’d always associate that back bedroom as the place where mom took her last breath. Tucked in and treated like a V.I.P., she’s calm, at peace, and nurtured…as she so deserves. 

I continue to be amazed at the sheer number of people that have sent me love over these last few days…dear friends have gone out of their way to check in on me and refuel my soul.  I’m strong for Mom but often tapped out and a quick text or a meal away from the hospital reboots and readies me for the next task.  I hope I can repay the joy you’ve given me.

Wondering how I’ll do Christmas this year…torn between not wanting to leave Mom in Easton for the day and wanting to create memories in Shrewsbury with Tim, Maya, and Cole (and even Charlie…which is huge because everyone knows I’m not a dog person).  I received blessing from all three to stay put and enjoy time with Mom…Best gift ever.  I am one lucky girl.  No more guilt.