Mean Girl Rant

Making a date with a mom I've admired for a very long time, it didn't take long before her precious heart was bare and she shared her anxious thoughts with me. Her eldest daughter, beautiful and confident, was harassed for being a Christian. Tweeted pics circulated showing her teammates in a mocking pose with hands pressed in prayer. Same girls mocking her lacrosse goals by asking if God had done that, or if her prayer made the goal. Immediately offended, surprised...but then I recalled how simple it was to be the mean girl.

I was a high school mean girl.

 

To the majority, I was kind, innocent, joyful. But two girls received the brunt of my jealous wrath. Encouraging my entire table of senior girls to turn and glare at a stunning underclassman with a modeling career during our entire lunch period. My smiling face dissolved whenever she passed in the hallway. Another girl, transplanted into a small-country town of big trucks and cow-tipping, was mocked because of her fashion forward hair style. I suppose my pecking order felt threatened...or it was just easier to mock than to confess my own weakness. So much more difficult to authentically connect with others, understand who they are and why, appreciating their differences, and not feel internally threatened. Shameful it took 43 years to source and secure my identity. Unsure what advice to give my dear friend...this sort of bullying has endured since cave-woman days and will likely continue til end-o-times. Sad that it often doesn't end in high school.

To the harassed, this former mean girl apologizes for the current tribe. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Keep being your unique self regardless of the murmur it creates.

To the mean girls, grow secure in your self...there will always be a prettier, smarter girl. Find your self and you won't need to degrade it in others. The enlightening thing I've discovered in my years since being a mean girl is that every single one of us is uniquely broken on the inside. The most beautiful girl feels ugly. The smartest girl often has no idea how to interact with others. We're all struggling to be heard, to feel important, to find solid ground.

To the beautiful girls I harassed...I'm deeply sorry. My mean girl card now archived, but still I feel much regret for what I've done.