So Much to Say

Asked to speak to a roomful of new moms, I’ve been diligently tapping away at the keys trying to gather the right words to say.  Blog writing is a hobby, a document of my own personal soul journey…words on screen, however,  seem so neutral compared to words spoken. Will I stammer, will I wander, will I disappoint, will I cry? The image of standing among 70 ladies, all eyes on me, microphone eagerly waiting to capture my words, my knees weak, hands shaking…it’s enough to shallow my breath. 

At the same time, I’m reeling…so much to say to young moms, so many things to tell them from the other side of parenthood.  Don’t worry so much, take your time, release unnecessary burdens, breathe deeply. Other words on being a woman, more unnecessary burdens, the contemplation of busy,  wasted time worrying.  The more ladies I meet, the more I realize we’re all just trying to figure it out…day by day, sometimes minute by minute, barely breathing, pasted smile, one foot moving ahead of the other. I want to tell them they aren’t alone, this world and it’s bombardment of issues can isolate us, set us apart from our tribe.  It's so unnecessary. 

So much to say in 15 minutes. So I throw them all into the pot, turn on the heat and let it simmer…reducing it down to the base, the most important, the deep roots foundation of it all.  The words spill as I obediently tap them out, hoping they speak to their soul.  Stay tuned. 

No Coincidences

Anxious about taking a long weekend with the ladies... arriving in-laws and a missed baseball tournament, but the heaviest concern was whether I'd be a wet rag. Still not on my A-game, wondering if I've been enlisted to an entirely different game...would I contribute to the fun, would I have weepy moments, am I still enjoyable to be around? Two tenured friends and two newbies...one of which is currently midway thru her journey with Cancer. Would conversation stir memories still too fresh?

No coincidence that I was surrounded by exactly the kind of women I needed to refresh my soul. I should have known better than to be anxious for anything at all. Settling in, sweet aggreeance all around...not wanting to upset the other. Our conversation deep, supportive, and broad. No one took center stage, no tantrums. Sharing heart stories by the pool, then at home, then at the beach...a simple change of scenery then more chats.

The high point was a pool side exchange that became an incredible therapy session. Five women with heartbreaking stories made me realize:

1. There are some amazingly strong women in the world...we coined them 'beautiful mules'. They carry the load when others cannot.
2. We all have a story....something that defines us and how we see the world forever after.
3. The sharing of stories offered sustenance...the heady realization that we are not alone.
4. The difference between being a victim and a victor is not letting the story become an excuse.

Rejuvenated and ready to embrace the in-laws, our return trip home offered another sweet reminder... no coincidence my randomly selected seat partner was a newly retired 17-year breast cancer survivor.