A-ha Moments

My last post, since deleted, stirred family feathers, so I sat remorseful, tail between my legs, feeling censored. But words weigh heavy, desperately wanting to be released. Thoughts churning unsettled until they're on paper. 

 

For now, I'll stick with benign topics...some A-ha moments from these past few weeks.

A-ha #1:  When tired, rushed, not grounded in prayer, my words often skim surfaces,  at times unintentionally wounding. Working on becoming and remaining intentional with my words. Three occasions this week presented awareness that small deposits have uplifted, enlightened. What kind of an effect could be made if I truly turned on the jets? Depositing words that are based on good listening and soul based inquiries? How humbling that I could make an impact on another life.  Aiming to use my powers for good...

A-ha #2:  Some people come into your life for a season....lessons received or given, then unexpectedly, while making yourself a cup of tea one morning you realize you haven't talked in months. That awkward silence with far too many life gaps to fill. Then you wonder if the lesson is complete or was the lesson unable to be taught?

A-ha #3:  Some that have nearly nothing will gladly give everything they have to help others. An entire post on that topic is brewing....things I've noticed during volunteer time at the Community Closet. Desperate hearts, willing volunteers, grateful souls. Life changing stuff.

A-ha #4:  Feeling like a storm is coming...not ready for it to be one full year. I'd prefer to stay closest to the last moments I had with her.  Not wanting it to fade. Perhaps that's why I still write. Unable to attend her hometown event, Apple Scrapple fest in Bridgeville, De because that's when the decline began. Then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and finally New Years. Holidays that carry major weight for me now. Staying busy to create fresh memories but still not ready to forget.

 

 

Mentally and physically scattered, but growing, changing in every moment.  Becoming a better version of myself...one that represents a good human to my children, that speaks loving words to my husband, and carries a full cup to more effectively help others.  Definitely a work and delicate balance in progress.