Busy Little Brain

Learning that the most successful people take time out of their day to meditate, be still,  be thankful, I thought what a easy thing to implement into my day.  It will be so simple to still my busy mind, I thought. So, for the past 6 months, at 1:30pm each day, my phone sends a sweet reminder to Be Still.  And each day, at exactly that time, my productivity peaks.  I’m on a roll, feeling super effective and there’s no way I can cease and Be Still. Instead, I hit ignore and promise to be still later.  But, perhaps in the midst of busy is best possible time, in fact, to Be Still. 

In previous attempts, like those sweet Savasana post yoga moments, my mind wanders like a kid on candy.  ‘What am I making for dinner’, ‘Am I breathing’, ‘I should check in on a friend’, ‘My back kinda hurts’, ‘Should I stop for gas’, ‘Are we out of milk’…and on it goes.  Like any new workout regimen however, it’ll take time to work that skull muscle…to retrain it to focus on nothing yet everything.  Even now, as I write this, daughter is pouring a clanking bowl of cereal and an irritating black fly sits stark against my white cabinets.  I’m already distracted. How to be still in the busy? 

What I crave is the ability to listen to that still, small voice in the midst of chaos and clutter. I seek that quiet wise suggestion to focus on the right stuff, to say the right words, to do the right thing, the same voice that typically is drowned in the busy little life I’ve created.  That wee voice seems so available when I’m quiet yet so elusive in the flurry and since the flurry will only increase, I’ll have to fight for finding Still. 

So today begins my busy brain work…at 1:30pm, regardless of productivity, I will Stop, Sit, and Be Still. Bless my busy little brain. 

But Not Now

Very soon, I'll post glamorous photos of a most beautiful kitchen renovation.  New countertops, polished farmers sink, sparkling floors and crisp painted walls.  But not now.  Slowly, the beauty is emerging...most certainly, we are blessed.  But right now there is a storm in every direction...piles of misplaced cleaning supplies while the sink is awaiting a crucial piece, all décor removed and settled in another room (renamed Home Goods), boxes of unwanted items headed for donation.  Thin layers of dust covering every surface including my nose, eyes, and ears.  Very soon, everything will be tucked back into place.  But not now. 


Renovation has taken its toll on my soul as well...reconsidering every single utensil, bowl, dish to determine purpose.  Deep thoughts over that fifth springform pan...how many cheesecakes did I really expect to bake at once?  Paralleling it to my life...boiling it down to most important.  Proudly  saying NO this week to assisting with one more event and attending one more ladies night.  Weighing each task, event, volunteer opportunity.  Definitely including a few frivolous make-my-soul-happy items and events (keeping the purple dinosaur for its sheer smile factor and continue to schedule intentional time with friends to keep my sanity in check). 

Several days of feeling flitty, adrift, overwhelmed, taking frustration out on hubby and kiddos reminded me of the importance of keeping grounded amidst the storm.  Further inspection finding I hadn't taken the time to be still, a chance to recharge.  Instead, jumping out of bed like a sprint runner to attack the dust and piles.  Returning to my routine of sitting quietly, praying, recharging helped to reclaim proper focus. 

So, let the dust fall, the piles will be sorted shortly...but not now. 

Flurry Days

This week was quite the flurry...seven straight days of baseball, Florida in-laws under roof, while still hosting a sleepy post-vacation buzz. It was a feet-hitting-floor-instant-ON kinda week. Entertaining family guests, cleaning house while they visited others, soaking and scrubbing clay stained baseball pants for another evening game, prepping dinner for early eating, then packing coolers for hot spectators and a hard working baseball player. Thankful for a rejuvenating stay at the beach to fill the reserves, never feeling overwhelmed.

School's out for summer and my precious silent writing space has been invaded. My therapy time... soul words that clear the shadows. Squeezing in car time during practice and scattered notes on my phone. As busy as this week was, I felt a shift...old Lisa returning like the tingling of a sleepy limb reawakening. Parts though, still wanting to hold fast my new awareness so in the busy days I don't forget those important lessons, my bullet points. Wanting the change to stick to my bones.

A call to reality, however, was a text from daughter....'when you get home, I'd like to talk'. The world continued to spin, but suddenly laser focus was on her. Never letting the flurry supersede relationship, once home, a bee-line to her room closing the door behind. The cleaning and entertaining would have to wait. Snuggled up beside her and quieted brain to truly hear her words and the meaning behind them. Thankful that she seeks me out and trusts my opinion. A lifetime of listening to all the small stuff so I won't miss the big stuff. Advice on a boy that broke her heart... should she extend a second chance. Personally being The Queen Recipient of Second Chances, with protective hesitation, I agreed. Taking inventory of all the chances I've received, the fourth and fifth chances I've regretfully given, passing along wisdom for both sides. Offer Grace, but don't abandon common sense. Take it slow and don't dangle guilt.

Content, we parted and the flurry continued but home base is secure, so all is well.