Love is Kind

In a deep dig to find the true meaning of Love, I was giddy to see Kindness was next up.  Kindness comes so naturally to me.  A smile to a stranger, a door held open, and paying for the next car in line at Starbucks is light and fluffy and oh so simple.  All surface level stuff, though, I realized upon closer look.  Googling Kindness in Scripture, the first hit revealed Don’t Grow Weary in Doing Good.  Have I ever grown weary in being Kind?  For sure. Often. It’s so simple to offer up kindness towards someone that I connect with, a kindred spirit, or someone to admire. BUT. To those I disagree, conflict with, or who grate my soul, there is no kindness to spare.  Notoriously, I withdraw and withhold kindness from those sorts.  It’s not as if I’m blatantly unkind, more like the switch of interaction is turned off all together. They will not receive a glance, a nod, a smile, an ear.  Ouch. Wanting to save the best of me for the best around me, seemed noble at the time.  While I’m in full disclosure, I’ve have often used the ‘don’t cast your pearls before swine’ in a convenient way to curb interaction…so many missed opportunities to be kind. 

Stretching to fit inside this corrected definition of Love, it seems being Kind should include those I’ve distanced.  I’ve known it down deep all along…it’s just so much easier to be selective.  But there’s a more authentic version of Kindness I’m missing.  My mind is screaming ‘I don’t wanna’… what if they don’t receive my kindness, or what if they don’t respond the way I expect?  There’s nothing that says be kind only to those that receive it well.  Kindness leaves me with a satisfied, content, proud vibe and that’s the medicine I want to ingest daily.  How they respond is not my battle. 

A second Google search on Scripture Kindness revealed it’s something that needs to be put on.  Action words here.  Kindness isn’t always a natural, inborn thing.   It’s something which needs to be picked up, dusted off (especially in the case of those I’ve distanced), and thrown on. My kindness cloak clearly needs an upgrade and extension.  

And I thought Kindness would be the easiest. 

Eulogy

We've all heard the scripture Love is Patient, Love is Kind from 1^st Corinthians...it's on plaques at Home Goods, it's tattooed, it's proclaimed at weddings. Because God is Love, you can easily replace the word Love with God...God is Patient, God is Kind...It offers a guide line for Christians in this crazy world.. it gives us some elevated way to live our life but so often we miss the mark. However, looking back, I realized how closely my Mom lived this guideline. She had every opportunity to shake her fist at God, become bitter, angry, empty of love, instead, she radiated this way of life. Mastered it. Let me show you how well she loved.

Love is Patient: Every Thanksgiving I reach my boiling point when I make the final dish..gravy. It never thickened quickly enough, turkey growing cold, bellies rumbling, I frantically whisk and whisk until Mom stepped in and took the weapon out of my grip and relinquished me of my beatings. Sure enough, with her love and attention, the gravy thickened and dinner began. She was patient.

Love is Kind: Recently going thru every single thank you card she ever kept, I saw countless notes from new parents thanking her for her kindness and gentle spirit as she lovingly ushered their newborn into this world. I'm pretty sure it made her the best Nurse ever. (although racing me around the dining room table with the immunizations she could bring home definitely didn't feel kind at the moment). She was kind.

Love does not envy or boast: Whatever she had she gave to others. If she had two pennies, she'd give you both. She spoke sweet stories of her friend, Karen and her amazingly decorated house and themed tabletops. I often wondered if she left deflated, thinking she didn't have an equally trimmed home, but she remained joyful for Karen's skills, she was very proud of her dearest friend. She was never ungrateful or jealous. She did not envy.

Love is not proud: She never spoke as if she was better than another. She carried herself oftentimes as lower than those around her...an unsung hero. There was nothing beneath her...quick to change a soiled diaper, open to take in stranded family members, she gave all of her time and energy to help raise, organize, nurture, and tidy up our family. She was not proud.

Love is not rude: I think I can speak for everyone here in agreement that she never spoke a rude word. I never heard a curse word uttered, never a discouraging word, never demeaning. I know I certainly have and when I slipped in her presence, she would hum her signature calming tune. (insert hum...) Subconscious or not, it always changed the atmosphere. She was not rude.

Love is not self-seeking: ..she always took second place..sometimes third or fourth. Quiet and unassuming...a wonder woman in disguise. Mom never put herself first...always made dinner plates for every single family member before serving herself. Let her children use her car and found her own ride to work. Instead of resting, she would take Grandma on errands and doctor appointments. She was never self-seeking.

Love is not easily angered: Not once did I see her angry. When her father was shot in a liquor store robbery, the evening news briefly highlighted the event and Bryan and I were too loud playing nearby...or more likely fighting...and she rushed out frustrated that she couldn't hear the broadcast. Looking back, I gladly would have taken a spanking...but she contained herself. Knowing all that we three children put her thru, she contained herself like a saint! She was certainly not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrongs: Bryan, Jody and I have a laundry list of wrongs...all long forgiven...she certainly never rubbed our noses in it. She loved us in spite of our faults. She loved us equally, never judging. We all have a lot to learn from her. She kept no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth: You could look at the Cancer within her as evil..as a beast. I certainly did. Instead, she looked at the path of her life as only drawing nearer to her proper home. For months now she has been joyful about seeing Heaven...Seeing God, Jesus, reunited with her father, her mother, her sister. And at 1: 46am on January 2, I know she truly was rejoicing in that truth.

Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. She fought nobly, without complaint for 16 years...If that's not perseverance, I don't know what is. She sat for 6 long hours with chemo drips contently listening to Luke Bryan. As a Nurse, she was fully aware of her odds, but she always trusted and hoped for one additional day. I think she got that and much more. She always trusted, always hoped, always perservered.

Love never fails: Even in death, her love remains. Stuart Scott of ESPN passed two days after my Mother and spoke such profound words that resonated in my core and really speaks volumes about how she lived. He said, “ When you die, it doesn't mean you loose to Cancer. You beat Cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live.” She never failed. She never stopped loving. She beat Cancer by loving until her very last breath.

The Love is Patient guideline scripture ends with Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love. I know the greatest legacy she could possibly leave behind is to encourage us all to love..Love better, love more, love harder, love more often, love when it hurts, love when you really want to kick, Love yourself, love the unlovable, love that annoying person because they need it more, love with every ounce of your being, love every single person that touches your life. She sure did.