Smiles are Free

I have changed location three times, trying to find the perfect spot along with the perfect words to describe a fresh awareness that came last week.  Words spill awkward, deleted, retyped, pages cleared for fresh thoughts. Afraid to sound selfish, self-centered, yet the words always returning to one singular point….I was humbled last week.  

With fresh awareness I realized that the simple smile, that positive outlook, one that comes so easily to me is not universal yet is enough to change the atmosphere. Often self-coined ‘blissfully naïve’, I had no idea how that simple smile brought change, lightened a load, cheered, encouraged.  Oblivious.  Surely then, I should throw that smile around like confetti, right?  Why often so difficult?  Do I now like fewer humans?  Have I become a skeptic? My ‘blissfully naïve’ turned to ‘annoyingly aware’?  It should be so easy to spread love all around… But what about those I find annoying?  What about those that have betrayed, hurt, disappointed?  Don’t they need love, too?

I’ve always clung to the ‘don’t throw your pearls before swine’ mindset…but who am I to define? Maybe she’s just having a bad day? Or perhaps her marriage is falling apart and my happy is disturbing, her past pains are too overwhelming to allow a sane relationship, her desperate need for love requiring a thick layer of lies.  I’m always unsure of the reason, but this I know.  Smiles are free.  Worst case, it’ll make the cynic wonder what I’m up to.  Best case, I’ve just made someone’s day.  It’s a win/win either way, so you’ll catch me smiling all the more!